I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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