I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
