My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
