i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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