I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize