Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
