My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
