My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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