In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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