im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
