If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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