is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
