May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
