Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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