You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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