mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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