He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
