That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
