so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
