I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is Oprah even human
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
