Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
