remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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