I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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