if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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