I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
