Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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