Nicole vs. Life
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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