That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
