New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
