North Korea, Best Korea!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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