Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
