bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize