My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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