On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
