I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Two words: blizzard sex
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
