i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
