aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
