My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
