So drunk its hurt
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize