I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
