I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say š
Maybe i donāt have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Iām sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You offered him a āSorry I Blew Your Brotherā Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
