plz talk dirty to me
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
