I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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