I think I am morally bankrupt
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
