She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
