some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
