I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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