Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We were destined to go to rehab together
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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