WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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