i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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