I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
