I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
