Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
