but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
