Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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