I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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