So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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