i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
