At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
