Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
