Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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