I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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