accomplished twins. life is a go
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
