i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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