There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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