Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
