Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
