apparently the secret to your success is patron
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
