I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
