I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
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He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
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You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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