You just made me feel so damn special
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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